There is so much talk in the Church about family today. Marriages. Husbands. Wives. Children. There is so much focus on the family unit – or lack thereof – and how we as married couples can and need to change and live the Sacrament. And while the family unit is so important, and is a major player, it is not the only player.
In a Faith that is black and white, where there are the 10 commandments, the Beatitudes, the Passion of the Lord, and the great traditions and magisterium of the Church, it resides in a world that is gray. Divorces happen. Families are broken. Many choose not to have families. Many simply cannot have families. And the list goes on and on
Unfortunately, with all the talk of family and marriage, many people feel marginalized as a result, often because their family is already broken. Or because they are not married. Or because they do not have kids, or in the eyes of some people – enough kids. Maybe they don’t want kids. Maybe they have same-sex attraction, or suffer from an addiction, or maybe they are in a marriage filled with anger and resentment.
Don’t get me wrong; I firmly believe that loving marriages and the family is the key to our future. But we cannot forget the “now”. We as a Church, and as a human race, cannot make others feel marginalized, because guess what? News flash! We are all on the margins. We are all marginalized because there is not a single one of us – aside from a Man 2000 years ago – who has walked that perfect line.
And so, while many of us may have the perfect picture of what a marriage and family should look like in the eyes of God, every single one of us falls short in some respect. But in the same respect – it all comes back to family. Our relationships. Sure, we are all part of a family with blood relatives in one way or another. But we are also part of many other families, such as with a group of friends, maybe co-workers, or our parish family. While not blood relatives, our friends, and those people we love and would do anything for, are our family. The people we interact with every day. These are our families too.
And what is the key aspect when you think of a family? Love… And service. Service to one another, helping each other, sacrificing our love and our conveniences and our comforts so that someone else may be more comfortable, so that they are happy and live a better life. This can be in our immediate families, or in those loving relationships we have with close friends.
It all comes down to service. In today’s world, with all the complexity and all the gray, it is really not that gray. It is still black and white. When it comes to loving others and how we treat them – we know what is right. Amidst all of our afflictions, and our corruptions, we also know how we should treat others – regardless of whether they are a blood relative or not. We should treat everyone as family. We should serve them as if they were our own.
We should let the Lord use us as His instrument.
Because through all of the complexity, and the feelings of often being on the outside, God still loves us. He wants the best for us. Best means there is nothing better. And He wants to do good through us, and work through us – not only to help others, but to also help each one of us.
Much of the problem today centers around “I”. I want to do this. I want to do that. I don’t believe in this, but I do believe in that. We focus on ourselves, on our own greatness. James and John fell into this trap today in the Gospel. They wanted to sit at the left and right of Jesus on His throne of grace. But what they did not realize is that Jesus’ throne was the Cross – and at His left and right when He was on the Cross were two thieves.
We can be at the side of Jesus. We can be there in greatness along with Him. But that greatness comes through suffering, sacrifice, and bearing our crosses. We must serve Him, and we do this through serving others.
We allow ourselves to be His instrument.
Jesus showed us how to do this. He came to this earth as a human, and the Father used Him as His instrument – His instrument to save us by showing us how to be this servant. By showing us how to embrace all of humanity as our family. Sometimes you praise family. Sometimes you rebuke family. But you never stop loving. You never stop serving, and Jesus taught us this.
He understands our weaknesses, our pains, our struggles and our afflictions. He knows what it is like to be us. He knows what it is like to be marginalized. Paul reminds us of that today in the second reading, in his Letter to the Hebrews.
This is why it is so important that, while we do seek to improve our families through Christ, we must also not inadvertently forget about those whose families are broken, or may not have a family of their own. We must seek to serve all through Christ, not condemn and judge, and let Him use us as His instrument top help – everywhere – at home, at school, at work, in the parish, and in the community. This too is our family.
We must let Him work through us in order to help others. While the Church starts in the home – it doesn’t end in the home. It encircles the world. It transcends through us.
We each make a difference in the lives of others that we simply cannot comprehend, and it can be the littlest thing. The smallest compliment. The tiny act of service, such as opening a door or just smiling and saying Hello, or helping someone. Maybe it’s teaching. Maybe it’s coaching. Maybe it’s mentoring that intern in your office, or giving food to the homeless on the street. What we do today sets the tone for tomorrow. What we say dictates how we are spoken to.
Our family is everyone. Our greatness lies in how we treat them, and the sacrifices we make for others, and the service we provide for them – every day. Our greatness lies in how we listen to Jesus’ calling, and how we let Him use us as His instrument to help others in our lives. This is why He came to us, as one of us. To show us how to achieve this.
And when we look at today’s world, we as a Church must be inclusive. We must serve all, and look to help all. There may be areas of importance, but we are all important. We all have a purpose and a reason for being and God has a plan for each and every one of us – whoever our family may be. He wants us all to be great, but the greatness does not come without sacrifice. Let us look to serve all, as Christ would do.
