As I have mentioned here before, Elise and I were in the same class in veterinary school. And by “class” I mean grade level. Not a certain level of sophistication. She was way ahead of me in that category. I attended most of my classes wearing gym shorts and a T shirt. A sweatshirt when it was colder. Obviously there was no dress code at the University of Illinois.
We also differed in our tendency to seek more information from professors. She was very ready to propose questions to gain a further understanding of the topic. She still does that to this day. No hesitation what-so-ever. As for me? Well, I am best desribed in this quote from Abraham Lincoln:
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt
I was sure that if I asked for clarification on a topic from a professor I would be verbally drawn and quartered in front of my classmates. If I could keep up the image of being brilliant, why would I speak up thus revealing my true ignorance. Plus there was always time before a test to look up the answer to the question without having to “bother” the professor with some inane interrogative. But, usually, I just remained uninformed and often this was revealed during examinations.
Why the fear to ask a question? We are in great company here. In today’s Gospel from Luke, chapter 9, Jesus has just finished telling His apostles that He is close to being put to death. Now this is not the first time He tells them this fact. But they act as if this was the first time they were hearing it. Their response?
But they did not understand this saying;
its meaning was hidden from them
so that they should not understand it,
and they were afraid to ask him about this saying. (Luke 9:45)
What caused this fear of someone that they have been breaking bread with, seen miracles from and followed closely for a few years now. It seems as though they had the same reason for fear as I did when stumped in veterinary school. Afraid that they would be exposed as being ignorant in front of their contemporaries. Realize that the apostles still had an understanding that Jesus was going to lead the Jews out from captivity by the Romans. That he was a military savior. Just a short time before this passage in Luke, the Mother of James and John asked Jesus to put her sons at Jesus’ right and left hands. And the rest of the apostles argued about who would be the greatest. Their belief was that Jesus was going to bring them out of slavery and they wanted to have a significant role in this event.
So when Jesus told them that he was going to be handed over and killed. They were astonished. How could this be? All the powers Jesus displayed during His ministry and He will not be able to stop mere men from killing him!? This can’t be true…or could it? They were very confused and asking questions about something that you have no clue about can be scary. You have no idea what to ask and how to ask it without appearing stupid. After all, Jesus rebuked them several times for not understanding many of the events the Gospel writers included in their works. He called Peter, Satan, for debating Jesus over His predictions of death. Later in Luke, Jesus rebukes the apostles for asking if they should stop another preacher proclaiming the Good News because he was not one of their “in” group. When they could not heal a possessed man, Jesus was able to step in and heal him. When asked why they could not heal him themselves, Jesus responded by saying that they had little faith. I know I would hesitate to ask more questions if I received these responses from someone I looked up to.
But what is the consequence of not asking questions? Failure to glean the information necessary to make informed decisions. You remain ignorant and not understanding. Proof of this comes with Jesus’ arrest and torture. The apostles cannot believe what is happening. Even though Jesus spelled this out in no uncertain terms. If they took that next step and questioned Jesus further about His claim of being arrested, they would have been better able to accept what was happening to Him during His passion. They would have been prepared and more likely to remain by His side.
We have so may opportunities today to get our questions answered. Catholic Answers (catholic.com) is a great resource. We have the Bible in a Year and the Catechism in a Year podcasts. We have bible study groups. We have call in shows on the radio. I especially like Patrick Madrid on Relevant Radio. We can call in or just listen to receive great info on a variety of topics. Numerous videos concerning many relevant topics on YouTube from Catholic priests. You have your pastor and deacons at your parish.
I will close with a story I may have related to you here in the past. Elise and I were married by a priest and a Rabbi (no, not the beginning of a joke). We were supposed to have gotten dispensation from the bishop to make the marriage valid in the Church. No one told us about this until about 25 years later. We did what was necessary to rectify this situation ASAP. But what I didn’t know was whether the marriage was sacramental. In short, it is not because Elise is not baptized. A match called “disparity of cult”. It took me asking many priests, deacons and cannon lawyers to get the answer which I found out later is clearly stated in the Catechism. Our marriage is valid in the eyes of the Church but it is not a sacrament since a non-baptized person (Elise) cannot confer a sacrament on a baptized one (me in this case).
It took asking a lot of people to learn the truth in spite of many of them telling me to let it go. It doesn’t really change anything. I was told I was being obsessive. But for me I needed to know where I stood in terms of sacraments that I validly received. Pushing aside my fear allowed for learning to occur. And that is why we must overcome our fear to ask. We become better disciples. I conclude with the initial line from the hymn “Hosea”:
Come back to me with all your heart,
don’t let fear keep us apart.
