I love my wife. And I am pretty sure she loves me as well. Now there are times when we don’t like each other very much. As all couples do, we get into disagreements now and again. We sometimes yell, cry, not talk for awhile but always we make up. We talk about what started the argument and do our best to resolve it. 37 years of love and disagreement. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Our relationship is not what it was at the beginning. This is true of all couples. The physical attraction dominated at first, then respect and understanding. Then a common goal for a life and a family. The fact that we could then count on being there for each other. I heard someone once say that one of the reasons we marry is so that a person could have a witness to their life. Someone to notice who they are, what they did and to care that they are around. One of my favorite movies is the underrated Disney film, “Newsies”. You may have seen the Broadway version but, trust me, it does not hold a candle to the film. In one scene the main character, Cowboy (played by Christian Bale), is talking to Sarah, his friend’s sister. They are becoming attracted to one another and Cowboy asks her if it would matter to her whether he comes or goes. Because he has never had anyone who cared about whether he was around or not. It is something I think married couples sometimes take for granted. Me included. That there is someone at home that notices them and caring about where they are.
So we care for and we love our spouses. The mature kind of love. The love that means we work for the good of the other person even before ourselves. They come first. A selfless love. But here’s the thing. What makes a good marriage. Is it that the other person is the one and only? The only person in the world for you? In my opinion, that is not it. I think more than a commitment to your spouse, I think it is more important to be committed to marriage. Marriage is a covenant, not just between two people, but also between the couple and God. It is what separates a faithful marriage from a secular one. It is said that a priest does not marry a couple. He just witnesses them marrying each other with God as the third person in the relationship. And if a couple takes that seriously, they cannot turn their backs on the marriage because they would then be turning their backs on God.
Then we come to today’s Gospel reading. This is the second time in a couple weeks that we have this Gospel, since the Church presented it to us just a couple Sundays ago. In it, a group of Sadducees present Jesus with a preposterous scenario where seven brothers sequentially marry the same woman as each of them dies, as was prescribed in Jewish law. And they ask Jesus who will be the woman’s husband in the after life. Of course they are mocking Jesus since the Sadducees did not believe in the resurrection of the dead, as did the Pharisees and, later, Christians. The reason being that the Pharisees drew their belief from not only the Torah (the first 5 books of the Bible) but also the Psalms and Prophets. It is is from these latter books that they drew their support for the concept of the Resurrection. While the Sadducees only subscribed to the words of the Torah and, therefore, did not believe in the Resurrection.
Jesus’ response is to inform his questioners that, in the after life, men and women are not given in marriage. It is an earthly construct that is no longer applicable after the Resurrection. Why? Well, that gets us back to the purposes of marriage. One is obviously to promote children and family in this life. But, in addition to this, spouses have a mission for each other during marriage. That is to get each other to heaven. It is a relationship that is a partnership. A corporation whose mission statement is to help bring the other to the throne of God. And once there, there is no longer a need to work for the salvation of the other person…mission accomplished. That is not to say that married couples will not know each other or have a relationship in heaven. But the need for the institution of marriage will no longer exist.
Many of you know my story. That my wife is Jewish and does not believe in Jesus as God. And I have shared here before how I experience a conflict in that Jesus says that the only road to God is through Him. Which puts her life in eternity in question. I can only hope that God has plans for those who have a strong faith in Him (as I know Elise does) without the path that Christians have adopted. We follow the way that Jesus laid out for us but, in the end, only God knows what He has in store for each of us.
So, as per Our Lord, there is no marriage in heaven. I am guessing that there isn’t a lot of things in heaven that we hold dear in this life. I am thinking that there aren’t motorcycles, pickleball, movies, television or even Facebook. But we will not need any of these things. We will have God’s overwhelming presence filling us with never ending joy. We will no longer need things to fill the hole that only God can fill. Makes you feel sad you see for the Sadducees.
