Wednesday, December 2, 2020 — Giving and Receiving Begins With Listening

I have a pet peeve when it comes to holiday entertainment. Very often, there’s a disconnect when it comes to gifts. Like, in a car commercial, you’ll see a husband giving his wife a car (complete with giant bow on top), and it’s this huge surprise and the wife is all delighted and giggly. Now, I have absolutely no idea what universe that happens in; generally speaking, if I were to make a $30,000+ purchase without my spouse’s explicit go-ahead, I’d be in the doghouse for the next jillion years.

Similarly, you’ll see movies and TV shows where someone gives a new pet, vacation tickets to an exotic location, or even a house, seemingly without having discussed it in any fashion beforehand. There are so many ways this can go wrong: “Thanks for the dog, but I’m allergic! And thanks for the nonrefundable tickets, but I can’t go to Barbados on May 17th because that’s my sister’s wedding. Oh, and I’m a huge walking fan, and this house doesn’t even have any sidewalks or places to walk to!”

This came to mind as I reflected on today’s Gospel selection, from Matthew. It’s the story of Jesus turning a few loaves and fishes into enough to feed a huge crowd, and it’s a great miracle. But one line jumped out at me, where Jesus says: “My heart is moved with pity for the crowd, for they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat.”

In other words, Jesus is determining what they need, and then takes steps to satisfy those needs.

The Advent season has just begun. This season is one of the two in our liturgical calendar where we are expected to prepare ourselves for the arrival of Jesus. (The other, of course, is Lent, when we prepare for his return.)

It’s a season that culminates in communal giving (especially among friends and family), and — most importantly — with the gift of Jesus to the world. But amid all this gift-giving, it’s also a season that is made much better if we determine what we really want.

When it comes to gifts, many of us might think we know what we want, but sometimes we haven’t really thought of it: You want a dog? Okay; will you enthusiastically clean up after it every day, make sure it has food and water, and provide the exercise it needs? If you want a glittering jeweled necklace, have you envisioned how that would tie into your life, determined when and where would you wear it, thought about how it works with your wardrobe, and thought about how you’d keep it safe? Before receiving a wonderful gift, you need to understand what that gift means — to you and your life.

In Advent, it feels to me too easy to say we want the gift of Christ’s love. But have we really thought about what that means to us? “Tickets to Heaven” can be just as “inconvenient” as tickets to Barbados if we’re not willing to understand what that means to our lives. You probably need a passport before you can go to Barbados, and you need to similarly prepare your life before you receive the gift of salvation.

In both the act of giving and receiving, we should keep our eyes open for what the recipient wants to receive, and is willing and able to receive. (Even if that recipient is us!) You may well be ready to receive a dog, but you need to make sure you’ve done what you can to prepare for that possibility in your life. Similarly, you’re quite likely on the path of God’s greatest gift, but it’s good to confirm and reassess that.

And it’s also worthwhile to remember that it’s a time to receive and give. Fortunately, Jesus has made clear what’s on his “wish list”: Feed the hungry, help the sick, provide for those in need, spread the Good News . . . you know the rest. (Jesus is certainly easier to “shop for” than my father-in-law!)

If you’re looking for an Advent reflection today, consider thinking about what you really want, and how it intersects with the most-amazing gift that we prepare ourselves for in a few weeks. If you need to make your wants and needs more firmly defined, now is ideal to reflect on that. If you realize what your heart really wants is actually keeping you apart from God, perhaps work on that.

Advent is a fantastic time to listen, observe, and see what’s really needed . . . just like Jesus did. With that effort, miracles are possible.

About the Author

Despite being a professional writer and editor for over 15 years, Steven Marsh is more-or-less winging it when it comes to writing about matters of faith. Steven entered the church in 2005, and since then he's been involved with various ministries, including Pre-Cana marriage prep for engaged couples, religious education for kindergarteners, and Stephen Ministry's one-on-one caregiving. Steven lives in Indiana with his wife and son. Despite having read the entirety of the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, he's still surprised at elements he rediscovers or reflects upon in new ways. The more Steven learns about the faith, the less he feels he knows; he's keen to emphasize that any mistakes are his own.

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9 Comments

  1. Thanks Steven, that same car commercial drives me crazy- two years running now. Your description on listening or discerning is so important. I want to be able to accept the gift that Jesus wants to give. What is it I truly want?

  2. Thank you Steven. Not sure what I want or physically really need. I do seek God’s approval in my daily actions. Perhaps that could be my gift to others…7 loaves to them and 7 baskets in return…gifts all around. Very cool reflection.

  3. I say I want Jesus to come into my life but I’m not always ready. Do I really want that? Yes! I guess I need to prepare, thus advent. Thank you Steven.

  4. Well done Steven, beautiful refection and enriching. My uncle often reminded me to look out for number 1 and if we include Jesus in those number 1’s [and WWJD] during our daily tasks, then the Kingdom of Heaven has come near.

  5. Ohmygosh I needed this today!
    I’m getting a similar message from Him — 1. stay still 2. slow down 3. declutter my mind and heart to be able to LISTEN to Him MORE this Advent 🙏

    God bless you and your loved ones, Steven! Thanks again for this beautiful reflection! ❤️

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