I read a book on leadership once, and the author advised every leader to include a “truth teller” in his group of advisors. Most of those who surround a leader are careful to say what they think the leader wants to hear, even when they believe the person is off track. A “truth teller” is not afraid to speak up and challenge the leader.
Though we are not in positions of leadership, it is good to have at least one “truth teller” in our lives. In a marriage this “truth teller” is usually one’s spouse.
Today we read a humorous story in which the wife of a holy man proves to be his “truth teller” (Tobit 2:9-14).
“On the night of Pentecost, after I buried the dead, I Tobit, went into my courtyard to sleep next to the courtyard wall. My face was uncovered because of the heat. I did not know there were birds perched on the wall above me, till their warm droppings settled in my eyes, causing cataracts. I went to see some doctors for a cure, but the more they anointed my yes with various salves, the worse the cataracts became until I could see no more.”
Tobit was an honorable Jew who carried out the works of mercy, including burying the dead. He tells the story of how bird droppings made him blind. A bad thing happened to a good person.
Then his wife comes into the picture.
“At that time, my wife Anna worked for hire at weaving cloth, the kind of work women do.”
Tobit’s wife became the bread winner for the family. He was humiliated not only with blindness but also with having to depend on his wife for income.
It so happens that once after she sold some cloth, the buyers gave her a bonus—a young goat for their dinner.
“On entering my house, the goat began to bleat. I called to my wife and said: ‘Where did this goat come from? Perhaps it was stolen! Give it back to its owners.”
Tobit and his wife had received a surprise gift, and yet he preferred to believe his wife was a thief. Even when she explained where the goat came from, he refused to accept her story.
“I became very angry with her over this.”
Where did all this anger come from? He was angry with the birds who blinded him, with God for not protected him, and at his own ability to earn a living…now he added on an unnecessary layer of anger by mistrusting his hard-working wife, who happened to be, it seems, a better bread winner than he was.
His wife speaks up.
“She retorted: ‘Where are your charitable deeds now? Where are your virtuous acts? See! Your true character is finally showing itself!’”
Ouch! “Mrs. Tobit” told it like it was. Underneath the gracious appearance of this religious man was a bucket full of anger which he took out on his wife. Tobit was humbled.
The story of Tobit challenges us to reflect on what’s going on inside us. Beneath a pleasant appearance are we still angry about a misfortune in our lives? Are we jealous that someone else seems to be more blessed than we are? Do we let even small innocent actions of a spouse, cause us to become irritated? We need a “truth teller” in our lives to show us a part of ourselves that still needs forgiveness and healing. Isn’t that one of the functions of the Holy Spirit?
“May the Father…enlighten the eyes of our hearts…” (Ephesians 1:17).
