I am not sure if I ever shared this story on ACM. Several years ago I attended the wedding of the son of one of my cousins. It also turned out to be a bit of a reunion in that relatives I had not seen in awhile were there for the celebration. Since I had been living in Illinois for about 30 years, and away from my relatives on the east coast, I was excited to get to spend time with them. It was a really nice weekend. On the day we were all set to leave, someone had informed me that one of my cousins felt it was difficult to talk to me due to my Catholic beliefs.
The important thing to know about this particular cousin is that he is gay. And he has felt this way most of his life but kept it quiet while his parents were still alive. His Mom had recently passed away and he felt more comfortable for people to now be fully aware of his identity. What bothered me was that he felt that my beliefs would interfere with my relationship with him as my cousin. He is a great person with a tremendous heart for people. And him being gay would not change my feelings about him. I wanted him to know that. I still loved him.
So, I contacted him and said that we needed to talk. He agreed. We sat down at the hotel just the two of us. My goal was to assure him that him being gay, and my beliefs, would not stand in the way of our relationship. But I then made a huge mistake. I also wanted to be sure that he KNEW what my beliefs were. Even though he never asked me to expound on them. I led off my conversation by telling him that I believed that homosexual acts were sinful. Only THEN did I tell him that I loved him and we could always be able to talk. But he did not hear any of that. Because I just laid down the gauntlet with my opening salvo. We left the hotel and I thought all was well. Until I got a text from him that evening essentially telling me that he never wanted to speak to me again…and he hasn’t. Not only that but several other members of the family, who he had informed of the incident, have also kept me at arms length over the ensuing years.
So here is the thing. What I said to my cousin about homosexual acts being sinful is absolutely true if you are a faithful person who believes in the word of God in the Scriptures. I can cite several parts of the Old and New Testaments that make this abundantly clear. I will not do that here because that is not the point of this reflection. Now I did not speak that truth in a loving way. And I am paying the penalty for that approach. I also learned that often, unless we are asked, unilaterally speaking our opinions can be met with resistance to say the least. We must always pick our time and place to voice the truth of the Gospel and do it with compassion.
Jeremiah the prophet discovers the dangers of speaking the truth. Jeremiah began to prophecy during the reign in Judah of King Josiah. At first Josiah stood by God’s decrees but then Judah fell into idol worship following Josiah’s death. Jeremiah preached to the new kings of God’s displeasure with them aligning with foreign gods. In addition, he warned them, and the people of Judah, of the impending doom of Jerusalem’s destruction at the hands of the Babylonians. He advised them that God would have them capitulate to Babylon in order to preserve the city and temple. Jeremiah was thus seen as a traitor and the people plotted to kill him. His own people, his friends and relatives, turned against him. God preserved him but He did not stop Babylon from destroying the city and temple then taking the Israelites captive and bringing them to Babylon as slaves.
Truth hurts sometimes. While it must be spoken with love, there are still times when truth must be spoken…and consequences endured. Jeremiah suffered by being beaten, imprisoned in a dungeon, thrown into a cistern to starve, labeled a traitor, mocked, and constantly threatened with death. He faced so much hardship that he is called the “weeping prophet”. But he survived. Eventually the Israelites in captivity were allowed to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple and the city. They returned to the worship of the true God. While Jeremiah was not alive to see the fruits of his labor, I am sure the truth that he spoke before the exile remained for the returnees to recall what God expected of them.
I recently replied to a Facebook post where the author tried to compare a man having a vasectomy with a woman having an abortion. He did not understand why there is a cry out against a woman getting an abortion in comparison to a man getting a vasectomy. I replied explaining that a vasectomy prevents conception and therefore the onset of life. An abortion terminates life by killing a living being in the womb. I went on to mention that some birth control methods, such as the IUD, actually is an abortion because in prevents or terminates implantation of the embryo in the uterus. I received a scathing reply from another FB writer. To which I responded in a calm, fact filled way without attacking the writer. No other issue in our lifetime has divided our world the way abortion has. I think it has also served to fuel our political divisions here in the United States. We have seen much animosity, anger and separation of friends and families over the issue. But truth must be spoken. The time will come, I believe, when generations will look back horrified at this time in history and want to know where we stood in protecting innocent life. While I do not like losing friends or family members, I also want to be able to say that I did God’s work in whatever way I could to help protect innocent life. I hope it would make Jeremiah proud.
