Jesus’ friends were very important to him. He loved them and depended on them in ordinary, human ways. It has always seemed to me that we see the human side of Jesus most clearly in the stories of how he was with his friends.
Today’s Gospel is one of those stories. The setting is a dinner party in Bethany, most likely at the home of Lazarus, Mary, and Martha. It was a bit dangerous for Jesus to be there. His raising Lazarus from the dead just a bit before this had created problems for this little family of siblings, as well as for Jesus. Our Scripture tells us today that the “chief priests plotted to kill Lazarus too, because many of the Jews were turning away and believing in Jesus because of him.” Yet here Jesus is on Saturday night before he entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday morning. He is “reclining at table” with Lazarus while Martha does her usual hospitality service and Mary sits at Jesus feet.
This evening Mary brings out an expensive whole liter of aromatic oil made from nard. This was likely to be Indian Spikenard, and it may have been blended with some cinnamon or cardamom, to make it fully aromatic. Its purpose was not simply to fill the room with fragrance. Nard has the capacity to calm anxiety and relax tension. It is a balm which naturally relaxes and soothes.
The disciples are also apparently at the dinner party, and the Gospel notes that Judas complains about this costly oil being used to anoint Jesus feet. Jesus replies, “Leave her alone. Let her keep this for the day of my burial. You alwave he poor with you, but you do not always have me.”
It isn’t the first time Jesus tells others to let Mary be when she sits at his feet. (See Luke 10: 41-42) This time, she anoints Jesus feet with the oil, and rubs the oil in with her hair. The fragrance fills the room.
A Friendship that Developed
What friends Jesus, Mary, Martha, and Lazarus must have been! When Jesus needed to relax before entering Jerusalem the next day, he chose to relax with these his long time, laity friends. He had been coming to their home since fairly early in his ministry. Their home was a refuge and respite place for him. He treasured his time with them, as they doubtless treasured their time with him. They fed him and helped him relax.
We gather from other mentions of Mary, Martha, and Lazarus that Jesus’ conversations with these friends were honest and direct as conversations between good friends tend to be. The first time we hear of this friendship Jesus corrected Martha when she complained about Mary not helping her. He did it point blank, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part which is not to be taken away from her.” (Luke 10: 41-42) Martha seemed to take no offense. When Lazarus died, there was real tension in Jesus’ conversations with both Martha and Mary. And we have the only scriptural reference to Jesus’ crying as part of his response to the pain of that dialogue.
Jesus, Lazarus, Martha, and Mary were true, good friends. There is an intimacy implicit in all the scriptural stories of them.
They were disciples, too, whom church legends say became effective missionaries after Jesus’ Resurrection.
Putting Myself in Mary’s Place
Because I like to think of myself as a friend of Jesus, as well as his disciple, and, perhaps because my name is Mary, I identify much with this Mary of Bethany. It is easy for me to put myself in her place.
I can imagine myself feeling a compunction to get the oil off the shelf, to open it, and to wash Jesus’ feet with it. As I do, my own love for Jesus pours out. Would I have had a sense of anointing him for burial? Or would hearing those words from Jesus have struck fear in my heart? I don’t know. But either way I think the nard would have been mixed with my tears, my love.
What I never thought of before, however, was: Did Jesus get the idea to wash the disciples feet during the Last Supper from remembering how much it meant to him when Mary did it a few days before? Did Mary, laywoman-friend, and Martha, other laywoman-friend who cooked the meal—did they provide the model for Eucharist and Jesus’ action of washing feet as a sign that all his disciples are to be servants of all?
Whether the Saturday night dinner party simply relaxed Jesus before he rode into the city to hear both “Hosanna” and “Crucify him!” or whether it also provided the very human friendship action models for what are today our treasured rituals of Faith—either way, this story of Jesus and his friends speak of the great value Jesus put on holy friendships.
Bethany was just a mile or so from Jerusalem. Jesus stayed there each night of Holy Week until they arrested him in the garden on Thursday. All that week Jesus depended on these his friends for comfort, support, nurturance, and human love.
The First Days of Holy Week
Because there is so much in Holy Week, we forget that about one-third of the Gospel chapters tell of what happened during Holy Week. There wasn’t just the Farewell Discourse in John 14-17 (which are the Gospel readings during the weeks after Easter). There are farewell parables in Matthew 21-25. These parables were mostly told to the disciples—who were Jesus’ friends, too. Similar stories and final days adventures with the disciples are recounted in Mark 11-13 and Luke 20-21.
Jesus spent the first part of the last week of his life doing everything he could to teach his friends, and to prepare them for his death, resurrection, and their own missions. I think his relationships with his friends also anchored Jesus and helped him.
The latter half of Holy Week was to save the world—including all of us who want to be Jesus’ friends today. But the first half of Holy Week Jesus primary attention was to give his friends everything they would need to carry on.
Jesus was God, so he knew his friends would be tempted to step away from The Way. He knew Judas would betray him, Peter would deny him, and all but his mother, a few women, and John would view his death from a distance. Yet he also knew of the Resurrection, the Eucharist, his Ascension, and Pentecost. He knew of the Church through the centuries—including this, our century.
Jesus knew. And depended on his friends.
Jesus knew. And did everything he could for his friends then and through the centuries to know how to remain friends with Jesus, children of the Father, and community with each other.
Prayer:
“What a friend we have in Jesus,” the song begins. But, Lord, let my friendship with you not be a one way street. Let it not only be for you to bear all my sins and griefs. Let my friendship with you enable me to bring you those sins and griefs in that direct, honest, trusting way friends talk to each other. And Lord, let me bear your troubles, too. How are you with the news of the day? Let me walk and talk with you today—this Holy Week—this Easter…all day, every day. Let me be your friend by being friend to all I meet. Let me walk with you, Lord. Lead me, guide me.
