Moreover, I can see the Holy Spirit at work again. Just today, I had an opportunity to revert back to my old ways of going all out for work, and not taking the balanced approach I need. And I said “no, I’m going home. It’s the end of the day, I’ve already stayed longer than I intended by 20 minutes or so. This can wait until Monday. I’m going home to spend time with my family.”

However, there was a part nagging at me (perfectionism?) that said I wasn’t doing enough. Having just written about this issue yesterday, I told myself that I didn’t take care of my child’s or my needs then, but I’m going to do it now. And then I read your information about the Missionaries of Charity, Mary. Yes, the Holy Spirit at work again, confirming that taking rest is not selfish, it’s necessary for mental and physical health.

May the Lord bless and keep both of you, Mary and Christine. And Christine, I hope you’ll be able to find a new church that will welcome you, and you will find peace there.

I was pregnant and about 2 weeks before my due date. They hired my maternity leave replacement very late, so she started only a few (4?) days before I left on leave.

I didn’t want to leave her training up to the workaholic office mate with ridiculous standards (no, working from 8 am until 11 pm is not acceptable in our profession, and we need room for family and friends).

But I was extremely tired, and when I was training her, I even started shaking. I pondered going home to rest (I had sick days to spare), but this stupid (yes, I said “stupid”!) attitude of generosity and looking out for someone else, which I interpreted from the standards given from Gospel selections such as today, interfered. I stayed.

Result: my child was born in distress, my placenta was calcifying (thereby not giving my baby the necessary nourishment, and so my baby had stopped growing), and it was an extremely difficult labour and delivery, since my baby’s heart rate had dropped to dangerous levels.

All that stress on my body brought on by “sticking it out for my fellow man” put the real person I should have been thinking about (my baby) in danger. This was years ago and my baby was healthy after all that distress, thank God! But I learned a valuable lesson:

NO! Do NOT give until it hurts! Do NOT put your health or your children’s health at risk! Realize that you are only human, with human limitations.

It may have been my stupid interpretation of the standards that put my in this situation of sacrifice, but the point stands. Do NOT sacrifice until it hurts! You may be putting others in danger!

I want to point out the very real dangers of this unthinking generosity and sacrifice. “Unthinking,” because I didn’t think it through. I didn’t think of the effect it would have on my child. I wanted to help out a stranger.

Let’s tone down the sacrifice aspect, because without caveats, people like me may be putting ourselves and our loved ones at risk.