The last week was a low phase of my life. Maybe even the second time at work I felt utterly disappointed. I felt sad and betrayed and utterly lost. I broke down right in the operating room and the sadness would not just leave — I have been trying to put on a brave front for almost 9 months when I am unhappy and sad about issues at work. It led me to the point of having so much anxiety and discomfort physically, affecting my work and thinking.
I shut everyone out and cried out to Jesus; I sat in my kitchen and cried to the Lord, for He is my refuge! I put on my favorite hymn and sang along. It did help me get a grip, but I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know who to turn to, and then I called up the one person I know who will say the right words—my guardian angel, my mother!
While I could sense the worry in her voice, I felt closer to God than ever.
Whoever humbles himself like this child
is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me
I am the child—always and forever to her. She received me in God’s name as her child 36 years ago with all her love and arms and hugged me and helped me calm down and realize I am not alone and weak. Her advice always ends with “Say the name of the Lord and take a deep breath and calm yourself.” I finally found the courage to speak up and face my worries and push hard against injustice!
If my earthly mother can love me this much, I am going to be adored by the creator! He accepts me into his arms with more love and mercy and makes me feel blessed. I cannot explain or put in words how it feels to be a parent because I haven’t been one, but I know I am blessed with 2 who have made me feel loved as much as they can. And as much as I surrender to my earthly parents when I cannot figure things out, I can’t imagine how relieved it would feel to surrender my life to the Lord and humble myself!
Let us find that inner vulnerable child within us and surrender to the Lord in times of need and despair and also joy and happiness. We don’t need to carry our burdens alone… let us be humble and kneel before the Lord. Everyday and every night…..
AMEN
