Thank you for your reflection. Linda and ‘A’ have made some interesting and credible arguments, and I would like to add to their remarks.

I am Catholic and a married man. My wife is of another Christian denomination. We lived together overseas for a couple of years before getting married — we lived in a non-English speaking country where the number of Catholics are significantly small and, I would say, are foreigners.
My wife and I were both relatively young when we got married. After I moved to that country as a single young man, I had lost what ‘little’ connection I had to my faith. I met my future wife as a young man and we ended up living together for a couple of years.

Because we were looking to relocate internationally for work, it would have been significantly easier to do so as a married couple, and so we ended up getting married, and we did so quickly. As mentioned, we had been living together at the time and, in addition, I especially felt that we were going to eventually get married anyway. However, because I was not so much connected to my faith, we did not get married in church. Regrettably, I later realized that I have been living in sin.

Prior to our marriage and relocation, I found myself beginning to slowly reconnect with my faith, and I started attending Mass again — at a school as there were no Catholic churches that catered to English-speaking expatriates. After our relocation, I continued to attend Mass every Sunday and I continued to do so by myself. It did not bother me that my wife would not attend Mass with me, or would not go to a church of her denomination. A number of years ago, I went through an experience that I believe the Lord utilized to bring me much closer to him, and I then began to have a much deeper faith. And this has bothered my wife, which has led to tension within our marriage. We have a young daughter that was baptized Catholic and goes to a Catholic school (it was a challenge to get my wife to agree to this), and I am finding it difficult to be the husband or father that is the “spiritual head of the family”, as you put it. Our daughter sees that Mom does not go to Mass, and so she does not want to go to Mass with me. Knowing that it would be challenging to raise our daughter at home as a person of faith, I insisted on her going to a Catholic school despite the high costs involved — I feel that the school helps me with raising our daughter as a person of faith.

Having began to have a deeper faith, I wanted to get married in church, which my wife has also objected to. With all of these issues, I have given serious thought about divorce. However, because of our young daughter I am reluctant to do so, or at least reluctant to do so at this time. I feel divorcing my wife will be a bad example for her. I am in a difficult situation, and I have discussed this with priests over the years, and I frequently pray to God about it. I do have strong feelings about eventually divorcing my wife at a ‘better time’ with the understanding the no time is good for divorce.

Given the comments of Linda and ‘A’, and my comments above, I think I speak for some of us in requesting you to kindly respond to these remarks.

Thank you and God bless you.

You are one of my favourite writers on here, Joe, but I must say that this reflection lacks your usual grace and wisdom. Very one-sided, not to mention confusing. All that mentioning of years back and forth… so your wife converted to Catholicism in 2006, so she wasn’t Catholic when you got married in 2000? And you only started taking a deeper interest in Catholicism when she converted? That’s what I understood, but it was all written in such a confusing manner.