Today’s Readings
I have an interesting relationship with my older daughter. To understand what I am about to say, you need to understand their personalities when they were young. The best description I can give is the parable Jesus gave about the two sons and their Father asking them to go work in the fields. The one son essentially says, “sure. I’ll go” but never follows through. He merely tells the Father what he wants to hear to avoid the conflict that would ensue if he refused outright. The older son does not mince words. He says straight away, “No. Not interested”. However, after giving things some thought, he shows up and does the work his Father asks of him.
Now I won’t say that my younger daughter was dishonest when she was young….OK….she was dishonest when she was young. She would bend the truth a bit to avoid an argument when she just did not want to do something or disagreed with what I was telling her. Now my older daughter, if she did not agree with me, or just was not interested in doing what I wanted her to do, would have no reluctance to go toe to toe. Things would get heated big time and we would then both go off to our respective corners. Eventually, either she would come to the realization that I was justified in what I needed from her, or I would understand that I was being unreasonable in my request and we would reconcile.
It took me awhile to figure life with Danielle out a bit but over the years I have determined that when we disagree, and maybe she responds in a way that gets a bit hurtful, instead of me pushing directly back, I let it lie for a while. Inevitably she writes back to me, not necessarily to apologize, but to open up further dialogue. And this dialogue often results in a resolution to our initial conflict.
I go to thinking of this dynamic between us when I read today’s Gospel from Luke. It involves the famous parable that Jesus tells of the dishonest judge (no, I not comparing him to my younger daughter. She has, thankfully, become a bit forthcoming in our conversations). In this parable he initially ignores the widow who is relentlessly hounding him for a just verdict. He, at first, ignores her. But she persists. And in that persistence the two come to an understanding and agreement in a just judgement on the part of the judge. But it was the judge’s initial silence that caused the widow to evaluate whether her cause was righteous enough to keep at it. To persevere. Now I am guessing that the judgement she sought was not necessarily exactly what she received. I would suppose that a compromise was reached that was to the liking of all parties involved. That they saw things from the viewpoint of the other and understood the guidance from the judge.
And I think this is the thing about prayer. I seriously doubt that Jesus’ point with this parable is that if we just whine long enough, God will give in and give us what we want. That may work with parents and mini-bikes, but I really don’t think God works this way. God knows what is best for us and no amount of begging will cause Him to relent and grant us an outcome that is not good for us. So what is the point of prayer and why does it seem that God ignores us and is silent at times? Well, I look back at my relationship with Danielle. My silence during those times when she was heated and upset allows her to persist for a while and then to consider. To consider the consequences of her request being granted and to maybe come up with an alternative that suits all who are involved. For the needs of both her and I to come a bit closer together.
Now I understand that I am not God. But don’t ever tell my kids that. I wanted them to hold that belief for as long as possible. What I mean is that I am not always righ…rig…righ…OK. I AM NOT ALWAYS RIGHT! So my views do have to change with time as well as Danielle’s. But for God? Well, he does not need to change. It is us that needs to change and bring our wishes closer to what God desires for us. And sometimes God chooses silence to get us to hang in there. To persevere and then to go through a mini conversion of sorts.
And the other thing God needs from us in these situations? Faith. Or as someone define faith…trust. Trust that God has our backs. So do not despair when we do not perceive that God hears us. Like the old song says, “Silence is Golden”. But (God’s) eyes still see.
