I thought that I really couldn’t relate very much to today’s scriptures until I read the following verses in the first reading for Mass today, from the book of Job:
“Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets,
so that one can read it readily.
For the vision still has its time,
presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;
if it delays, wait for it,
it will surely come, it will not be late.
The rash one has no integrity;
but the just one, because of his faith, shall live.”
Unexpectedly, it was a very healing experience to read these words in today’s readings for Mass …
The words in sacred scripture are not just words written on paper. They are living words, the very breath of God. The Holy Spirit is alive and well and breathes life into us quite unexpectedly sometimes, like what happened to me today.
While I was doing some housework today, a memory came to my mind from the past. I hadn’t even read the scriptures for Sunday yet, but it was about this very thing. I remember the Holy Spirit prompting me to write something down. It was a nagging sensation that I just couldn’t shake for days. It was such a powerful feeling that I eventually realized that I couldn’t just ignore it. I wrote down the words. It was almost like the words were being dictated to me, I heard them in the silence so clearly.
I was prompted again, to give these words to someone. I didn’t want to, because this person held an important position in the church. I didn’t think he would understand them, because I certainly didn’t. I felt like a fool and I went through a great interior struggle with, “should I?”or “shouldn’t I?” Truly, I did not want to cross that bridge. But, the Holy Spirit kept tugging at me, insisting that yes, I needed to obey Him and do it.
My life was in such turmoil at the time. I felt devastated because our children left home and they moved 2,500 miles across the country and I was heartbroken. I missed them, and I missed my new little granddaughter. My husband refused to move across the country. My hands were tied. I thought there was nothing I could do about the situation. I also served as a volunteer coordinator in a women’s prison and the prison ministry was experiencing some problems too. Honestly, I felt trapped and stagnated.
I followed through with what the Holy Spirit told me to do, but it was very hard. My emotions were out of whack and I worried if I was acting rashly because of my very profound heartache. However, I had a feeling this was some sort of premonition. The feeling lingered and didn’t go away.
But before this happened, I had a dream that was very profound. It too, seemed to be some sort of premonition. To this day, I never forgot the dream. I wrote down all of the details of the dream the next day, because it seemed to be something very important that God was trying to say to me. I needed to pay attention to it. It wasn’t an ordinary dream.
About a year went by, and little by little, the dream began to come true. When I saw these things happening, I realized that it truly was a means that God had used, as a pure act of grace, to show me His will for my life. I trusted Him. I prayed at adoration. And, I trusted my gut feeling, a sense of certainty that this was the right thing to do. And I did eventually act on what the Holy Spirit led me to do.
However, back to my first story about the words that the Holy Spirit had me write down, and prodded me to give to a certain man that I knew in the church. These are the words that I heard so clearly in the silence of my heart:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Little did I know at the time that the man in the church that I was directed by the Holy Spirit to give these written words to, was a recovering alcoholic. Perhaps God knew that he needed to hear them again, at that particular time in his life. I will never know. But in the weeks that followed, I discovered that the words were also meant for me too. God finally gave ME, the serenity to accept the things I could not change, the COURAGE to change the things that I could, and most especially – He gave me the wisdom to know the difference.
Two years later, my life is SO much better. The Lord has blessed my life beyond my wildest dreams. He answered ALL of my prayers and then some. Truly, my cup runneth over. Our entire family is finally together again in a new home. We live in a city between both of our children and grandchildren now. The state that He brought me to is the closest thing to heaven that I can imagine in our earthly lives. Our little home is adorable and cozy, with a yard full of roses in every color, with beautiful waterfalls nearby and the ocean is only an hour away.
God even answered my prayers from my childhood. I live an hour away from the ocean and I am a writer on this website. (As a child I had prayed to live near the ocean one day and to become a writer.)
God also answered the prayers of the inmates that I serve in the new prison that I volunteer at, too. I absolutely love this new ministry. It was an unexpected place to find such a joyful sense of community and belonging. The inmates had prayed for many years, for the very things that I knew how to do. The very things I had wanted to do in prison ministry at my former home. God led me to a place to do so, where my gifts were welcomed and appreciated. It is a joy for me to serve the inmates. They give back to me, much more than I will ever be able to bring to them. (The second reading for Mass today even talks about prisoners too.) When God answered my prayers, He answered theirs too.
And in the gospel today, Jesus tells us that:
“If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.”
This truly happened to me. A seed of trust blossomed into a beautiful thing, that was uprooted and planted near the sea in my real life.
I wrote all of this to encourage you, to trust the Lord. It really is true that He hears you when you pray, especially when your life is in turmoil. Pray to the Lord about your problems. Go to adoration and adore Him. Pour your heart out to Him in front of the Blessed Sacrament. He loves you, He is compassionate, and He will give you what you truly need if you are just patient and trust Him.
But, most of all listen to your gut instincts. The Holy Spirit is never wrong. If it is really the Holy Spirit that speaks to your heart, you will feel a deep sense of peace and certainty. You will know in your heart that it is the right thing to do. Act on what He tells you to do. Go out on a limb with sheer trust in the Lord. Don’t be afraid! He is with you always and loves you beyond all measure.
Sunday Mass Readings:
Hab 1: 2-3, 2: 2-4; PS 95: 1-2, 6-9; 2 TM 1: 6-8, 13-14; Lk 17: 5-10
